© Steve King
All rights reserved
She closed her eyes to find a
dream again.
Tears stung like the sea she
a-drowning.
She would recall the window,
and the looking far to
darkness,
and to distant stars.
Her eyes felt so small,
surely she was at fault, too,
for seeing nothingness that
side of stars;
sure that emptiness
was part of her, too…
She disappeared as clouds
closed on the night,
body nothingness in grip of
shadow,
mind a lens for somnolent
senses,
and for sharp aches that
gather to the soul.
She could yet stir to wonder:
‘Is this how dreams are lost?’
Empty window and the dampened
stars—
There would be that clinging
memory
when waves of heartache
came to wash her soul,
over time smoothing sharp
breaks
to a plainer anguish.
Empty window and the dampened
stars:
irrelevant blind view
she tried so to ignore
yet strained to see.
Another moment and it all sank in.
Much as she thought the wash of dread
must lave across the leaving dreams
of the condemned that one last morning,
sudden waking to brightness and the brimming
bladder
and normalcy and all else except for...
All so sudden
all like a madness
all at once like that fear.
She blushed in her pain to
think of the condemned:
There could be no otherness
for them,
no beckoning twilight future
to suit a need as time might
yet allow,
no delicate and balming
rationales,
‘til rationales surrendered
to the end of expectation;
‘til memory itself was finally gone.
Not at all like death or what
she imagined.
How was one to know?
For what had death to show?
The heart might cease, yet
still not fail to beat.
Not like death, seeming a
dream at the far other end.
Only love, and best to lose
it young;
superfluous innocence
that would not stay nor even
bear the course:
better than at age in the
grip of dread,
as old love, ancient and
familiar,
drowned in a stew of
cataracts and catarrhs.
Catacombs.
Mausoleums at morningtide.
All desire and dream,
she sang through darkness
heard the song, not the
singing
knew she must be dreaming
or else be a dream,
even as she felt him move,
felt him hard in her dreaming
world,
even as he stayed leaving,
hearing her song in the
singing dark,
not then even knowing his
musing lark.