Survivors

Survivors

Monday, September 16, 2013

“…but what if I should die before my time?”


“…but what if I should die before my time?”
--Then everyone I leave behind
will have more leisure to amend
memories, to paint anew 
the picture of this life; I’d find
ways to hide in dreams unsought,
in their new found imaginings,
adding texture to a gentling dark
that soothes all grieving senseless numb.

What if I knew the very day?
That secret would I most deny.
Every hour already holds
all the hurts the world may bring:
times endured with fair surprise,
a shrug perhaps, or nodding wise,
to note the transit of all things.
I would not tax our slender joys
with my precipitous goodbyes.

And what would be the final wish?
I would not cling to easy hopes
of saints and raptures waiting by.
I mean to quietly greet the night,
with modesty and middling calm,
to gaze on the receding light
‘til life’s safe harbor slips from sight,
and all distinctions disappear.

Savoring peace as clamors flee,
the thought of you still standing near.


(A new post for Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads
http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/
and d’Verse OLN
www.dversepoets.com)

21 comments:

  1. Lovely lovely and lovely - definitely an 'I wish I'd wrote that' poem.
    Kudos.
    Anna :o]

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  2. i would gladly not want to know the day of my death...though i do hope when my time comes to meet the beyond i meet it with dignity and calm...who would not....nice verse...

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  3. a fine sentiment, Steve. Well penned. ~ M

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  4. This whole poem has a very classical feel to it. Very well-conceived and written with a flair for language.

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  5. I really enjoyed the idea of considering your premature death as the gift of more time for those who survive you to amend their memories of you ... smiles

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  6. I like the idea of question, then the response in the verse ~ I like the unassuming stance, the modesty, even the frailty of goodbyes ~

    I would be afraid to know when death will come, I would deny it too ~ The last stanza moved me, greeting the night with modesty and calm - in acceptance of death's arrival ~ And I appreciate your thoughtful comments on my poem tonight ~ I must say you hit it on the nail ~ Have a lovely week ~

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  7. "and all distinctions disappear"
    there is power here
    well done!

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  8. Very well done. Great questions and love the answers.

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  9. Great sentiments. if my time was near I would want to know so I could say goodbye to my loved ones.

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  10. Incredibly smooth..... very well written. Truly enjoyed this piece.... I often wonder about these things too, how my children would be if I were to die suddenly. Your conclusions are pretty good. My own relies of faith, believing that my actual life does not begin until this one ends... nice write...

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  11. Steve, first, I loved your premise, if only because it's a question we all ask ourselves but rarely take time to answer. Your final stanza, describing your wishes, is touching, but I did also like the tales that would be invented, since I had a bro-in-law who died young, and the stories about him have grown into legend in my home town... GREAT write! Amy

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  12. Not only the premise of your poem do I like...but the sound of it when read aloud...the rhythm and rich language. I like this much, Steve :) xo ~jackie~

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  13. Well, if you can do that, you have lived far more your own life than I have, Steve, and I congratulate you. This is a beautiful rich poem, lovely dirgelike, hymn-like, but very personal language, and really well crafted. (This is Karin of Manicddaily.) k.

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  14. This is a wonderful piece.. written with a cadence that sings and with that truth and insight that make me think... and no, I would not like to know which day I will die.

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  15. The structure of the poem suits the material. The cadence and rhyme - classical,metered, steady. The exploration in the poem is rich with consideration. The poem has balance, lacks maudlin sentimentality, is modest, the use of language simple yet meaningful. It's full of that discovery by the reader of, "yes, that's how I would wish it too", and therefore communicates to the reader that which he/she has already thought but not ever put into words. In other words this is a brilliant and important poem.

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  16. "And what would be the final wish?
    I would not cling to easy hopes
    of saints and raptures waiting by.
    I mean to quietly greet the night,
    with modesty and middling calm,
    to gaze on the receding light
    ‘til life’s safe harbor slips from sight,
    and all distinctions disappear.

    Savoring peace as clamors flee,
    the thought of you still standing near."

    OMG Steve, this is beautiful, exactly how I'd want to go. I can appreciate your words in this more than you know. Been dwelling on much the same thoughts of late. Two family members are struggling and we know it just a matter of time. Thanks for sharing this.

    Also thanks so much for stopping by my blog and sharing a comment. I didn't share at OLN this week, as I'm too busy working and wouldn't have time to read and comment on many others. Always good to hear from you, my friend.

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  17. Starting with a tantalizing question gets this off to an excellent and provocative start, which then turns rapidly contemplative and even lushly beautiful, something I think is at least partially an effect of the chosen style, which is classic and sonorous--the stanza that begins ".. Every hour already holds/ all the hurts the world may bring.." is particularly luminous for me, but the poem is an incisive whole, delivered with a tender, ruminant eye, and the end is more complex, more comforting than simple resignation. Sorry to be so slow getting over here, Steve--life, etc.

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  18. A question I have pondered.....I love the rhyme scheme. I am not good with it and often when I attempt it it just doesn't flow well. Wonderful write!!

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  19. A question I have pondered.....I love the rhyme scheme. I am not good with it and often when I attempt it it just doesn't flow well. Wonderful write!!

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