by
Steve King
©
2013
You
are hurtling,
one
stop to the next,
on
and on,
a
faint, elusive point
perpetually
gone,
arrival
and departure synonyms,
reciprocating
echoes
melded
in the vacuum of transit.
And
how do you get off?
Is
one locus
better
than the next?
One
new arrival
keener
than the rest?
There
is always just one more,
and
then another gesturing beyond,
always
an horizon to be filled
one
scintilla at a time
with
the ready stylus
of
your fickle needs.
Even
so, your hands tighten.
You
grasp a-hold
your
pounding wheel.
Ready,
you think,
to
move trajectory
without
calculus or care.
You
are used to taking chances here,
No
problems, you are thinking
as
you wait
ready
soon
time
all
too
perfect
now
Posted
for Open Link Night at the dVerse Pub http://dversepoets.com/
I like the questions you ask in this, which seem to be about more than just the subway ride, but rather what brings us to it, exactly what makes up the experience.Starts and ends and stops are the peripherals of the journey, the substance is the part in between. I especially like how the structure picks up pace, with just a catch of breathlessness by the end, but 'You are used to taking chances here...' after all. A lot of immediacy to this one, Steve. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnd I should have said commute, or drive, as I doubt subway cars take too many u-turns at rush hour, or any other time. ;_)
Deletehopefully we take a little care in the moves we make and where we choose to get off....i think we can see behind the ones we missed and hopefully it helps us recognize them in the future...i like how you did the end there steve...
ReplyDeleteTense and imperative. Oh, how I hate driving in city rush hour traffic.
ReplyDeleteRuussshhhhh. I loved this ride and how it symbolizes other choices. Stop. Turn. Calculation and Instinct, yes. Mostly a feel for it, trusting experience.
ReplyDeleteThe intensity of it all can be so maddening at times.
ReplyDeleteI like the build here, the feel of rush and decision..which way to go, stop, get off..moves the reader at a quickened pace
ReplyDeleteI like the theme of time, moving from one point to another ~ I think of rushing to meet deadlines or being impatient to move from one goal to the another ~ The ending format, I specially like ~ Good to see you Steve ~
ReplyDeleteLove the second stanza, in particular...."the ready stylus of your fickle needs"....brilliant! Love the entire poem...and one of the best, I think, I've read on concept of time and how we choose to deal with it. ~jackie~
ReplyDeleteI like the theme of time and the decisions that we make and that molds our life.
ReplyDeleteNice! It felt intense & jerky & flying forward to me. Well done! :-)
ReplyDeleteI felt both the rushing on and the waiting
ReplyDeletethere is only time, no perfection
how your travelling takes you forward... on this linear track.. like life itself
ReplyDelete"You are hurtling,
ReplyDeleteone stop to the next,
on and on,
a faint, elusive point
perpetually gone,
arrival and departure synonyms,
reciprocating echoes
melded in the vacuum of transit."
Loved this, especially the first stanza! Of course I read it through twice without even reading the title. This could be about transportation, but even more so about our lives in general, hurtling through time and space--where will we land next. Especially like your formatting at the end, adds to the build up and anticipation. Well penned, my friend, well penned!
FYI: Did not post for OLN this week--been exceptionally busy with both job & home, not enough time to share & visit. Maybe next week :-)
Is all travel illusion? All stops and starts only in the mind's creation here in the physical world? I have no idea.
ReplyDeleteBut this poem made me feel I was in heavy traffic.
And now I'm parking the car and going to enjoy a nice quiet walk in the forest. :)
xo